HAPPY FORTRESS FESTIVAL WEEK!
Pardon our celebratory ALL CAPS intro but we are super-hyped about Fortress Festival this weekend!
And while being super-hyped is all well and good, super-hyped does not equate to being super-prepared.
But don't worry y'all, we got you.
Hellbent on producing the most epic music festival survival guide ever, the crew and I locked ourselves away in the FWN lab* for over two weeks!
Unfortunately for you, this is not the most epic music festival guide ever; this is just a tribute. Hat tip to Tenacious D for the zinger!
DISCLAIMER: So it didn't take two weeks and this "lab" looks more like my Mom's basement. However.. we had nothing to live on save for warm champagne and canned ham; sacrifices people, sacrifices. Like seriously, two of our interns died making the following guide, so we really really really hope you enjoy it! Truly!
Wait. What's that? You still don't have tickets? No prob, limited tix still available right here!
Enough of all that, let's get to the guide!
This lineup is crazy good. I mean...
Run The Jewels in the 817? Are you kidding me???
Peter freakin' Hook, he of Joy Division & New Order???
Slowdive touring in support of a new record due out May 5th?
Add in all the stellar local talent set to perform this weekend in the Ft. Worth Cultural District and holy Toledo Batman, we got ourselves a music festival!
ICYMI Episode IV: We recently featured a music video from every single Fortress Festival performer.
Here's a opportunity to familiarize yourself with the lineup in music video format:
ICYMI Episode V: Check out our Fortress Festival artist interviews !!
1. Peter Hook
3. Ronnie Heart
SUPER BONUS: Gee, idk, Fortress Festival curated this killer Spotify playlist!
There are several paths that lead to Fortress Festival and while you must forge your own, here are a few suggestions:
1. Hitchhike - Ok, so we don't really recommend this because I'm 99.999% sure doing so exposes us to some sort of liability; but ya know, it's technically an option.
2. A bike - Seriously, tons of great biking trails link up with the festival's grounds. Peep the Trinity Trails website here. Or check out Funky Town Pedicab if you'd rather pay someone else to do the pedaling.
MEGA BONUS ALERT: You don't even need to own a bike when you got the City of Fort Worth's B Cycle ride share program!
3. A bus - Fortress Festival and Bus.com teamed up to provide festival goers with very reasonably priced options starting at $12. Why drive and play the parking game?
4. A car - Pretty self-explanatory. A friend's, your own, your dad's, steal one (Wait, don't do that! See above-referenced mention of liability!!!), there's a Lyft station on-site, or perhaps save on gas via an irl Fred Flintstone car.
5. Teleport - For superheroes only or idk, maybe that Sir Capt. Hot Topic Criss Angel dude.
OMGee! This is the best looking map since The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on SNES!
The beer mug icon immediately caught my attention. Hmm, not sure why???
Anywho, I'm personally going to hit up the merch booth and that Indigo Yoga space on the lawn near the Modern pond.
Food. Food. So much..............food! Yummyyyyy foooood!!! Don't worry, we get to the food vendors a little further down.
The positioning of the stages closed it down for me. Look at that Modern stage placement! Look at that Will Rogers open space!
Get stoked y'all!
ATTN All Foodies - You'll be glad to hear that in addition to curating this amazing lineup of artists, the Fort Fest folks did some mighty impressive work with their food roster too.
Salsa Limón is a Fort Worth institution. Period. Nothing else to say here.
Immediately upon devouring said dumplings, you'll find me making a bee line to cool down with a couple Alchemy Pops.
*Cold Brew Coffee & Cream pop over here please!*
But hold on a sec, check out the non-food vendors scheduled to be on-site.
The Daniel Daniel and I will be covering the event so I'm thinking we'll finally get our FWN family portrait taken in the Folsom Photo Bus.
While we're at it, gonna stop by Mama P's to pick up a new "tobacco pipe" for my uncle Jay .. snoogens.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST: HAVE FUN!
To be honest, you don't need this guide. You'll have fun no matter how you slice it.
But if our guide did indeed prove useful to you, it's comforting to know our interns did not die in vain:)
Stay hydrated y'all, look out for each other, and most importantly, have fun Fort Worthians!
about the word writer person:
Prewitt Scott-Jackson writes Dad poetry & short fiction when he's not hyping and typing for Fort Worth Noise. His writing can be found in Ghost City Press (New York), Five 2 One Magazine (Los Angeles), and Sick Lit Magazine (Texas), among others. He prefers short walks on the beach because – and I quote – “It’s really hard to walk on sand.”